Solomon Game Show

Here's one of my favorite skit I wrote. Not as expository as I had planned, is something to wet appetites. Fun way for youth to learn about Solomon.

The Solomon Newly Wed Show

Host

Solomon

Wife #1 (Daughter of Egyptian Pharaoh)

Wife #2 (1^st wife)

Wife #3 (700^th wife)

Host: Welcome to “The Newlywed, the sort of Newlywed and the not so Newlywed Game Show.” Where we try to help husbands see which of their wives love them the most. I am your host Sat Jaypack. Now let me introduce you to today’s husband. Coming in all the way from Jerusalem Israel, our husband is a King who enjoys fancy gardens, working on his palace and temple and has 700 wives, give me a hand for… King Solomon.

(Solomon enters)

Sol: Hello Sat.

Host: Our next contestant is the daughter of an Egyptian Pharaoh, who enjoys long walk in her beautiful garden…Wife #1.

(#1 enters)

#1: Hello Sat.

Host: Our next contest is Solomon’s 1^st wife who enjoys doing stuff…Wife #2.

(#2 enters)

#2: Hello Sat.

Host: Are last, but not least contestant, is Solomon’s 700^th wife, who also enjoys doing stuff… Wife #3

(#3 enters)

#3: Hello Sat.

Host: Ok, the rules are simple. Before the start of the show we asked Solomon several questions about his life which he has written down on a set of cards. Now I will ask the same questions to each of the wives and for each correct answer, they will get one point. Whoever has the most points will be the winner, and will earn two tickets to Hawaii. Contestants are you ready?

#1,2,3: Yes.

Host: Ok. The First Question we asked Solomon. “Who were your mother and father and what scandal surrounded them?” We’ll start with you Wife #1.

#1: Um well, I think that Umm Solomon would have said, “Mom and Dad” were his mother and father, and they didn’t give him all the cookies he wanted was the scandal.

Host: #2, your turn.

#2: Well I think that Solomon would have said, David and Bathsheba were his parents, and the scandal would have been his affair with her before they got married.

Host: And #3?

#3 I Agree with Wife #2.

Host: And Solomon how did you answer?

Sol: Well, here’s my answer. (Sol shows his card)

Host: Well it looks like Wife #2 and #3 have one point each. The next question we asked Solomon. “What do you feel was your most faithful experience before God?” We will start with #2 this time.

#2: The time he took out the trash.

Host: #3.

#3: I agree with #2.

Host: #1.

#1: Oh yeah, I remember we he was telling me about how God told him the he would give him whatever he wanted. Solomon told me that he had wanted to make sure he asked for the right thing. He could have asked for power or money, but instead he asked for wisdom so he could be a good king. God was so happy with his request that God told him he would give him great wealth and power with the wisdom he asked for.

Host: Solomon, what did you say?

Sol: (Flips card) The time I asked God for wisdom.

Host: It looks like we have a three way tie at one point each. Next question. “When did you gain the respect of your people as king?” #3 it is you turn to start.

#3: I agree with #1.

Host: But #1 hasn’t said anything.

#3: Well, I still agree with her.

Host: Ok. #1?

#1: Hmmm. Oh I remember hearing that he had a hard time getting respect, and that one of his brothers tried to take the throne, but I… Oh wait I remember. Two prostitutes came to him fighting over a baby they both claimed he was theirs. And Solomon told his guards to cut him in half and split the baby between the two. Of course the real mother would have rather seen the wrong mother have the baby than then have her baby die, so she told Solomon that the other woman could have him. However the other woman didn’t want anyone to have the baby because she was jealous and she had killed her baby so she said, “fine cut him in half.” But Solomon could tell who the real mother was and gave the baby to the one who wanted to do whatever she could to keep the baby alive.

Host: And #2?

#2: When he took out the trash.

Host: Solomon what did you write?

Sol: (Flips next card) The baby judgment.

Host: Well looks like a close match. Next question. “What building did God promise to David would be built by you, and how well did the construction go?” #1 your turn.

#1: The beautiful palace that he made specifically for me. The construction went beautifully.

Host: #2

#2: Well, although he did build a palace for her. That wasn’t what was promised to David. I remember hearing that David wanted to build a temple for the Lord while he was alive, but God told him that Solomon would be the one to build it. And Solomon did. The construction went nicely. If fact people from all over worked together to get it built. When it was done it was amazingly beautiful, and I remember listening to Solomon’s very humble prayer of dedication to the temple.

Host: #3 it’s your turn.

#3: I agree with #1.

Host: Go figure. Solomon, what was your answer?

Sol: (Card) The Temple.

Host: We have a three way tie. Next questions. “Recently you did something to make God upset, what was it and what was your punishment.” #2 you start.

#2: He forgot to take out the trash! Now the palace smells. That has got to be the right answer this time.

Host: #3

#3: I agree with #2.

Host: #1

#1: He left the toilet seat up, and I fell in.

Host: How embarrassing! Solomon what was the right answer.

Sol: (Flipping card) I made alter for many of my foreign wives to worship pagan God’s. And God told me that for my punishment I would lose my kingdom, but I wouldn’t lose it in my life time, but in my son’s life time. However, God promised that for David’s sake my son would keep one tribe as his kingdom, and that the line of David would not lose the kingdom completely.

Host: I guess no one got any points that time. Last question. “You recently wrote a book about the point of life. What is the title? And in this book what do you say about wisdom, work, and pleasure; and what do you say is the point of life?” #3, Who are you going to agree with this time?

#3: #1.

Host: Ok. And #1 what do you think Solomon said?

#1: Well, the title was Ecclesiastes. And about wisdom, work, and pleasure he said that it is “all meaningless, a chasing after the wind.” And he ends the book by saying,

Now all has been heard;
here is the conclusion of the matter:
Fear God and keep his commandments,
for this is the whole duty of man.

For God will bring every deed into judgment,
including every hidden thing,
whether it is good or evil.

Host: And #2, your answer?

#2: I agree with #1.

Host: Solomon, how did you answer?

Sol: (Flips his card) Looks like they all got it right.

Host: Well. I’ll be. I look as if we have a tie. And since we have a tie I guess no one will be going to Hawaii. Well, ladies and gentlemen that is all the time we have for today. But thank you for watching “The Newlywed, the sort of Newlywed and the not so Newlywed Game Show.” I’m Sat Jaypack reminding you to help control the pet population and have your pets spade or neutered.